mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths
Can i get an oscar for being able to hit post limit within the first hour of it resetting
Anonymous asked: What are a few things you wish non-Australian people knew about Australia?
I’ve been thinking about this ask for a while and here’s what I’ve come up with;
Australia is pronounced “uh-STRAY-lee-ah” rather than “AWW-stray-lee-ah”
Melbourne is pronounced “MEL-bin”, not “mel-BORN”
Brisbane is “BRIS-bin”, not “BRIS-bay-n”
Canberra is “CAN-brah”, not “can-BER-rah”
"Yeah nah" means no
"Nah yeah" means yes
"Fanny" means vagina, not butt
No-one under the age of 60 actually says “G’day mate”
Pies are full of meat
This is fairy bread and everyone should experience it’s magic at children’s birthday parties
These are thongs
These are biscuits
Male kangaroos obviously don’t have pouches because males DON’T HAVE BABIES
Kangaroos don’t just hang around people’s houses they’re wild anim- Oh wait this is my driveway;
you people are a circus
if you kill a guy who has a boner does his penis continue to be erect or what
Yes. It does actually. And when they go to the morgue to be prepared for burial, the person cleaning them up and such breaks it so it lays flat.
“So what do you do for a living?
“I put makeup on dead people and snap boners.”
OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY Y EYE I JUST MISTOOK ANOTHER STUDENT FOR A TRASH CAN AND THREW MY TRASH AT HER THIS IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF MY LIFE
but not as embarrassing as getting mistaken for a trashcan
NEW noise canceling headphones that are so good at blocking out sound that they even prevent you from listening to your own music, forcing you to bask in the whispers of the forgotten gods until you begin to hear your own brain falling apart as it descends into madness
it takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning
oh my god
fucking fandom references
WHAT FANDOM? THE JESUS FANDOM?
THEY PREFER THE TERM CHRISTIANITY
This is the post that killed me
This is the post that killed him.
That’s whit at its finest.
having followers on this website is like doing embarrassing shit in your room and looking over to the side where the window is and seeing 13,168 people watching you